Confessional!

[Christy]

Wow! I never realized I would be so hooked. Here I am thinking about the challenge, the possibility of being eliminated, hoping Camas pulls through this one - all while listening to the speaker at the conference. The Passing the Log challenge really is a stressful one when it gets down to the end.

And as for talking with the others.... I thought it would be tough to talk with people through IM... but it's pretty much like in person. Some people are SOOOO easy to talk to and you just click with them immediately (Foster)... others are so difficult to carry on a conversation with (Thomas). I do appreciate Thomas' organization and dedication to the game... but have a little bit of personality and talk about things OTHER than the game.

So, yeah, I'm getting along really well with Foster, and would like to keep that going. He seems to be of the same frame of mind as me. I think Steve might be there as well.

The ones I've talked with so far:
Foster - Love - easy to talk with, gets my humor, has humor himself, good thoughts on the game.

Steve - Good to talk with as well. Not as easy flowing, but good. Again has the same thinking so far game-wise.

Johny - talked a little with him. A little in common, a little tougher to talk to. Seems nice. We haven't talked game, so not sure where his thoughts are.

Ricky - he tried to contact me - i caught him online to set a time to chat and he wasn't there or didn't respond when I IM'd him. Seems a little distant.

Thomas - never online to chat at the times I am. The one time he was we talked for a little (during the beginnings of the Log passing) and he just kept talking about the challenge and never seemed interested in getting to know me as a tribe mate. Jury's still out on Thomas.

Robin - Love the sweetness. A little ditsy maybe (not paying attention to challenge rules) Have not had a chance to chat and get to know her yet - never online when I am. So, I'm very anxious to talk with her. I think I might like her though.

No Alliances yet. I'm pretty sure Foster and myself will stick together. He likes Thomas... but as I said, Jury's still out on that one.

Having a BLAST!!!! Can't wait to be in more games after this one.

[Christy]

Well, it's officially been a week with Survivor. And I'm hooked. I'm thinking of future games. Different kind of games. I'm hooked. My favorite thing about the game to this point, is chatting with new people and having a blast doing that.... and working on the challenges.

Ricky didn't participate in this challenge - AGAIN!!!! So, if we lose, it's definitely an easy vote for me. He made one attempt to talk to me through AIM, and that was when his butt was on the line to be extinguished. Then, never heard from him again. If you're not going to make an effort, why play?!

No Alliance to this point. I've only made one STRONG promise gamewise... and that was not to lie to Foster, and vise versa. If either one of us is up for possible elimination... we'll tell each other (if we know). Truth is the best. I'd rather go out head high, than trying to pull something out of my back.

Well, waiting for results from the challenge. Mixed feelings of winning... if we win.. Ricky stays longer to hold us up... if we lose, we lose another member (not like it's any better with him here).

[Christy]

Okay, so it's 3:05. I just posted my last "painting" post for the night. I kept thinking... just one more set... and here I am at 3:05 am. I just want to win so badly.

Something I have noticed in the past challenges... There is pretty much a feeling like we are a tribe of FOUR. Steve, Foster, Thomas, and myself. We are the ones to be right there for everything. Communication, challenges... everything. Robin and Johny have been so very distant. And I know it's driving me insane wondering if we'll lose, just because they don't make it in time.

I HATE inactivity. You signed up for the game... you knew it would take some effort... doesn't have to interfere with life... just participate!!!! Communicate!!!!

Just a little frustration relief there! I'm finally off to bed. Although, I'm close enough to the next time set, I'll probably do one more round of posting.... I need help!!!

[Christy]

Okay, so the thing that cracks me up is someone who is desparate and will do anything to save their butt. Apparently Johny has approached Steve about forming an alliance. NOW? He just BARELY participates in earlier challenges, doesn't in this last one, writes a post congratulating us... and wants an alliance... I WONDER WHY!!! Cause, he knows his butts on the line to be booted out. It's a good thing we won this last challenge. I hate inactivity and desparation. He may be a nice guy... but have some brains and participate when it's important.. not just when you need to save yourself.

Anyway, just a little frustration relief there. I do that a lot I think.

[Christy]

Through IC #5 now. Camas won for the second time in a row. YEAH us!!! It's nice to have won again so we can keep the numbers in case we hit the merge soon. So, that's good. At the same time... no, not going to say it. Because I'm glad we won. There were so many questions to this challenge due to confusion on the instructions that it's GREAT we pulled it out.

Anyway, Robin approached me for an alliance. Thinking we're coming to a twist or merge soon, she wanted to set that up if I was interested. I am, but at the same time, don't want to get into an alliance that may hurt me not knowing what's in store for us. So, I declined the offer - letting her know I would always be honest with her, but waiting until AT LEAST after the merge or twist happens to really think alliance.

I guess that's all for now.

[Christy]

Well, it's been a minute since I've confessed anything. So, a little catch up....

First, YEAH on the merge. I was so excited to get home from work to find out that we had merged. And the fact that we were going in with more members.... EVEN BETTER!!!!

Second, I had my first REAL strategy meeting. Pretty cool. I know, I'm such a dork. We talked about serveral things we could do and I think it might actually work. I'm pretty psyched about that.

Anyway, I've talked to Tom and Jason the most so far and they seem pretty cool. A little with Aryan, and she seems nice as well. Haven't had a chance to chat with Donna. And would have been interested in doing so to find out if what I heard was true. But, it's late, I'm exhausted from work, and work early tomorrow... I had to put my vote in before tomorrow morning before I leave, so, unfortunately, she gets hit with the rumor mill, and swept away.

There it is. My ramblings for the night.
Good Night and Good Luck!

[Christy]

Wow!! what a change in the game. Once we merged, I really thought the second vote would be for Johny. Then, things seemed to change. I think mainly because in a convo with Thomas, he said the statement "as long as 2 camas are in the end". That made us think he didn't care Johny made the end. And when suggested we get rid of Johny, he said, that it was too early. The way we took the convo was that he thought he had all the power controling us....good at challenges... harder to get rid of later...so.... we did it. We, still have the numbers. But, our next move is crucial. We have to be so, very careful.

I do feel extremely bad about suprising Thomas like that. I know it's not very good. However, this is a game... at least that's what I keep telling my conscience.

Anyway, who knows what will happen next. Time will tell.

[Christy]

It's been awhile since I've confessed anything.

To catch up, after Thomas left, we voted for aryan. We almost voted for Tom, but, then through some things we heard from jason thought she might be a bit sneaky and decided to vote her out since we didn't know what would happen.

Johny was next. All too happy to vote for him. I will admit we probably used him to stay ahead of the numbers. But, he really didn't deserve to stay in. With his inactivity and all. Apparently he didn't take it too well. I knew he'd be upset with the vote - being surprised and all. He assumed we had an alliance with him, however, i never told him we did. In a message to him I referred to the fact that he had mentioned an alliance with Foster, Steve and me... but we never said it was fact and true, or agreed that the four of us were definitely in an alliance. I realize he probably took that to mean we had an alliance, and I feel bad that I used that to keep him on our side. So, yeah, he was surprised, and deservedly so.

Robin was harder for me. I was hoping to keep Robin until F5. Although I liked her, I had made a GREAT connection with Jason. So, was wanting f4 to be foster, steve, jason, and myself.

But...then... that got all blown away when IC #11 hit. I could hardly even breath when it came down that our voting was to be between Jason and Foster . Two of my favorites in the game, and I have to choose between them. I've been with and connected with Foster from the beginning, so there wasn't a choice for me to make. It was sooooooo painful for me to actually place the vote though. That hit it home that, one, I wouldn't make it on real survivor, and two, that you can make fast connections online and this is more than about winning a game for me.

I just sit here still stunned on the developments of this game. Hoping that Foster makes it, but sad for Jason. I don't want to doubt Steve, but with a convo that Jason shared with me, it sounds like Steve is on the fence and could possibly flip. When I talked to him, he said he'd vote for Jason and wouldn't betray Foster.... but... this is survivor... you never know until it's too late.

So, for now... I try to sleep and not have bad dreams about choosing between two friends... and then wait impatiently for 8pm to arrive to hear the news.

I guess that's it for now. There's no good turn out from this vote.
Sadness Prevails either way!!!!

[Christy]

[shadow=red,left,300][glow=red,2,300]FINAL FOUR BABY!!!!!!![/glow][/shadow]

I can't believe it!! Hopefully I would have made it with or without the reward. But, no matter...it's a great feeling.

The paranoid feelings are starting to set in though. I've never made an alliance. Even with Foster. We have always stuck together as a group.... but there are comments from others about Steve flipping... and Foster 's telling me he's kept secrets from me.... Jason's telling me that after the game he has some MAJOR things to tell me when the forums are opened up.

OMG!!! I know I'm gullible... and now I think that maybe i've been brought along for the ride.
And suddenly... FLIP!!!!!
Those I thought were with me....

I guess you never know in this game. That's what makes it interesting. And that's why I hope to God I can start winning some immunity. Just to make my mind a little easier.

This is when it would be nice to see the forums, so like watching a tv show... start screaming at the screen.... "don't run up the stairs"... here i'd be screaming... "don't vote for them!!!!... "don't trust them!!!!!"

Let the fireworks and the games begin!!!!

[Christy]

Wow, being in F3!!! My first game!!! I'm sooo psyched about that. It's kind of a wierd place to be with two friends though.

If you asked me last week if I thought I would be chosen to go to F2 with one of the guys if they won immunity...
Foster - No doubt. Thinking we have this great connection and no question eachother would take the other with them. Now... with convo's in this past week, I'm doubting that would happen a bit. Not that we have an alliance and I EXPECT him to take me with him... just the thought of it I guess.

Steve - I actually thought he would take Foster. I don't know why. He's stayed up with me late a few times into the wee hours of the morning just shooting the breeze. But, for some reason thought he'd take Foster.

And for me, if I win immunity, thought I'd always take Foster. But have been thinking of the three of us lately and realizing that I have different relationships with both of them and both of them are equal. So, now I'm torn!!! I almost want to lose the challenge so I don't have to choose between them. The other, more competitive side, wants DESPARATELY to win immunity so I'm guarenteed a spot in F2.

There's no guarantee on who's gonna take who. It's not cut and dry or obvious. And for the jury, there's no telling who they would pick to win, since I don't think any of us have screwed anyone over more than the others....

So, ICK!!!! The agony!!! The waiting!!! The Not knowing!!!!
But, man, am I having a BLAST!!!!!

Can't wait to see what happens next!!!

[Christy]

Here are the late night ramblings of my brain at the moment on a sleepless night….

[glow=red,2,300]Final 2!!![/glow]
WOW!!! HOLY COW!!!

Pretty much had a heart attack when I FINALLY saw the posting of the challenge. To have won is AMAZING!! But to have won by only 16 seconds?? Kudos to Velva. I think I'm still in shock. I played with the idea over the last few days on the possibility of winning and having to choose one of my friends and leave the other behind. I keep going back and forth. I think I've made up my mind, then it changes, and again and again....

I believe I have come to my final conclusion though. There were some comments a week ago that a couple of people were not too sure about Fosters and my relationship. That we were trying to "mastermind" the game. In a way, yes. Steve was there with us, but people didn't see that. So, if I took Foster with me, there would be more of chance I would lose because they would be looking at his "strategy" vs mine and I'm not sure which one would be thought of as a better survivor. I adore Foster. I laugh with Foster. I don’t want to leave him behind. That being said….

This is the hardest decision I’ve had to make yet….but, tomorrow, after some sleep (hopefully) I will place my vote to take Steve to the finals with me.

Steve has been with us through it all. Although there were rumors of him flipping on us, I don’t believe he did. I believe the rumors came from conversations trying to avoid revealing what the real plan was. He’s stayed up with me shooting the breeze several sleepless nights, we laugh, we chat… he’s a great friend too. BOTH Foster and Steve ultimately have the same ranking in my thoughts. However, this has come down to who the JURY will think of as a lesser competitor. But they could look at the challenges he’s won and say he’s the ultimate survivor. You just… never… know!!

This has been quite a ride on the ol’ Oregon Trail. I’m blown away that I’m standing in the F2 spot. I have enjoyed talking with everyone so very much, and hope I someday play another game with them. If I could change one decision I’ve made in this game… it would be to stick with the “Tribe” alliance longer (minus Johny). To stand up a littler harder to keep the “numbers.” At the time, I saw both sides of the argument – and I went with the ones I felt closer to. Game wise both scenarios would have ended in the same result – minus the fact that Thomas or Robin could have kicked our butts in the challenges and made it further.

I fear I may be rambling a bit too much now. So, I’ll sign off and get some zzz’s before my heart wrenching vote.

[Christy]

Today was tough. Talking with Foster and telling him I had chosen Steve to take with me . It was such a difficult decision since I feel as close to one as I do the other. But, I'm thrilled to be standing with Steve. And now, the choice has been made and so has my opening statement. I'm actually very excited to get the questions rolling in - no matter how difficult they are. I'm ready for what they can throw at me. So, that being said....

Bring It!!!!

[Christy]

I just feel drained. My mind is going a thousand miles these days, wondering if I've played a good game to the ORG standards - lol. Like I should care. I'm in the flippin finals!!! I hate excuses. I feel like that's what these answers to the jury are. Excusing my behavior. Excusing my decisions.

And now on top of it all... two of my best friends have broken up.. and I've spent the last 3 hours helping them. One hour getting one home from being drunk, and 2 hours of it talking with the other. I'm just soooo drained. And don't want to answer any more questions.

My roomy doesn't have the net, so I can't talk to her as much. The guys I used to talk to everyday are on the jury... so I can't talk to them til the games over. This is the first time since the game started.. I feel like I just want it over with.

I know I'll feel differently when I gather my thoughts and re-focus on the questions. But, my God.....

Calgon.......... Take me away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Christy]

HOLY COW!!!!

For my last confessional:
I can't believe it. I'm still in shock that I won my very FIRST game. I've had such a fantastic time... and already have talked to a few of the guys from the game, so know we'll still be friends afterwards.

I have to say my biggest shock of game though.. would be that of Jason and Foster being roommates and friends in RL. LOL!! That's awesome!! I'm glad things worked out the way they did with the immunities and such. Otherwise, they would have taken over all of us.

Anyway, WOW!!!Thanks for the Fun!!

And that's all she said!!!